Rhetorical Analysis of Publication Venues

Drunken Boat

"We accept submissions ONLY via this system. We do not read literary submissions sent to the editor’s address. We do not read submissions sent via snail mail. The exception is made for artwork or other media which the online system cannot support. Those can be sent to the editor@drunkenboat.com address.

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Call for Submissions: First Peoples, Plural: Drunken Boat is now accepting submissions for its “First Peoples, Plural” folio, to debut in issue #13 this winter. We will be considering poetry, fiction, creative non-fiction, essays, visual art, sound art, video art, and web art by indigenous people worldwide. Our goal is to present a wide scope of work from a wide scope of people. Works might explore native identity and aesthetic (and their evolution), family, spirituality, sexuality, passing, othering, exoticism, and the media. Please indicate the genre of your piece in the comments section.

Call for Submissions: The Bernadette Mayer Folio: Bernadette Mayer's writing experiments, from the 1970s to the present, challenge artists to change the world. We are looking for art and writing that responds to this notion and/or to Bernadette Mayer. Your response can be written, performance-based, filmed, recorded, visual. We seek responses through any medium, and encourage media projects. Consider ways in which your response might operate at the intersection of conceptual art, performance and experimental work. Deadline: April 15, 2011

Make sure to add editor AT drunkenboat.com to your Contacts or "Safe List" to ensure that our response will reach your Inbox."

Presentation:

-  analysis of the editors description of essays accepted in the journal/magazine: Unique, real life, odd and very personal.

- description of several representative essays published in the targeted venue; this description should take into consideration:

• subject matter - Very different types of non-fiction stories. (i.e The Red Shoe Episode)
• voice/tone – Pretty serious and satirical (i.e The Empathic Traveler)
• form - It varies in form especially in length. Some of the stories are cheerful while some were dark and gloomy.
• artistry – They could be described as being very surreal and unique.
• length: Fiction & Nonfiction: No more than 5000 words, unless you first query the genre editor via the above editor’s address.

Essay #4

She Needs Wide Open Spaces, Room to Make Her Big Mistakes...

It was November 6th, 1994 and they had ordered my favorite vanilla cake filled with bananas, strawberries and vanilla custard, all covered in Vanilla frosting. It had taken so long for her to have found the perfect birthday dress but she had finally managed to find one that fit me best. The stereo needed new double A batteries so as always, he ran to the store to buy more in order for us to be able to dance on my birthday. I was the youngest of 4 and as the baby, my parents would give me everything I ever needed with great expectations of my future. I had a mother who put me first before anyone else and a father who worked very hard to get my family and I out of the slums of Peru. As I sat down in front of my vanity table awaiting for my friends to come over, I began to look at myself wondering when I'd grow up to live my life beyond the cage that my parents had built for me. I had it all but I never really had a life to live. My sisters and brother were old enough at this point to be responsible for themselves and to make decisions on their own. However in my parent's eyes, being able to decide anything for yourself would only be permitted when you could leave the house and live entirely on your own. This stage finally happened to my oldest sister at the age of 26 when my father had finally allowed her to marry. My family did not care too much for her husband and the day she married him was the day that my mother dreaded till this very day. I continued to sit there thinking to myself whether or not I could ever live my only life the way that I truly wanted to live it. Even at 8 years old I had become curious in thinking what I would be in the future. However my future was not to make my own self proud, but to make my parents proud of me.

They say that your family is all there is and that when you need something to fall back on, your family will always be there to catch you. But what of the family who makes you fall on purpose? What about the family who only wants what's best for them? My parents had a very special way of loving and caring for me. I was the child who lived in a bubble. I could not see evil, could not hear evil nor could I even speak evil for a mere second. I was a precious flower to whom my parents cared for more than their own lives. As I grew older and had become more and more cooped up under their wings, I began to watch as my siblings rebellious stages progressed. My oldest sister married a much older man who my parents did not really approve of, my second sister dated a "good for nothing Puerto Rican" (as they liked to call him) and would skip her high school classes every other day. My brother was a special case because ultimately he was my father's biggest responsibility. My brother had dropped out of school to enter himself into military school. One of my father's most memorable moments since he was a former Marine himself. But it all came to a rushing halt when my brother would not exceed his training nor would he enlist due to a girl he had met. My parents were going insane with all the crazy things that they were all doing. But as the youngest child at 15, I was just sitting pretty, getting exceptional grades, making honor roll every single semester and never getting into any sort of trouble. That was me. I always wanted to be the best. The best that they could ever want in a child. But as I got older, I began to realize that the best was never going to be enough for them.

I was now 18 years old and it was the proudest moment for my parents to see me walking towards the stage to receive my diploma from Woodbridge High School class of 2005. I had graduated with honors and I was eager to start my life as a college student. Little did I know that it was not going to be easy. My parents did not want to hear the words "move" or "out" in the same sentence much less "boy" and "friend." I had never done anything in my whole adolescent life to disappoint my parents because I always wanted them to be proud of me. But I came to a rude awakening when another person had come into my life who much later would replace them, in their eyes. His name was Matt and he was my first love. Up until graduation, I had never really had a serious boyfriend nor was it a planned act to have one right before college. But it was inevitable the way my parents reacted to the news. My father was in denial and would always call him my "friend" and my mother would keep close watch on us making sure I'd be home no later than 10 o'clock at night. I was 22 now and this was still an on-going trend. My siblings were now older and each making their own lives with their families…far away. My oldest sister moved away to California making it that much harder to keep in contact with and my brother moved away to another town becoming closer and closer to his wife's family in result of the hatred my mother had towards her. My second sister was the only one who stuck around, visiting us once a week with her husband who mother actually approved of. What happened to the "good for nothing Puerto Rican" you ask? Well, let's just say my parents could not bare the thought of one their own marrying such a loser so they had taken matters into their own hands and forced my sister and him to let go of each other. The maltreatment and the many times my mom had kicked Jess out from our house seemed enough  one night when she could not take anymore of it and broke it off with Hector. I was their last baby bird who had yet to spread her wings.

As the last unmarried child, I had responsibilities that I had to take up in helping my parents out at their old age. From doctor's appointments to translating (my mother was not fluent in English) to transportation, I had to be there to help out in any way that I could. Which now comes as no shock to me that I would later become the biggest disappointment in my parent's eyes. As I had mentioned before, Matt was my first love and with 3 years down the drain due to an unhealthy relationship, my parents could not have been happier the day that I got rid of the guy who I once loved with all my heart. I remember the big smile my father had from ear to ear as I sat there in the kitchen table crying over my broken heart. I had explained to my mother how it hurt and that all I wanted to do was see him. My father then, without any hesitation sat next to me , reached into his pocket and said, "here, new life, new car." And that's how their control began to run through my veins like poison emerging through my brain making me do whatever they wanted me to do. It was forbidden to ever say his name nor could I ever speak to Matt ever again. For them it was quite possibly the greatest thing to have ever happened to them…I mean …Me. Truth is to them , Matt was a failure. And no daughter of theirs could ever come close to ending up with such an unremarkable being.

I am now 24 and Matt has returned back into my life. With many changes that came from both ends, we have managed to see our mistakes for what they were and could not be happier to be together now. I truly believe that whatever is meant to be, will be. So the reason behind us still being here, together, has me always thinking that this is happening for a reason. But none of this matters to my parents who have now found out about all of this two nights ago. I awoke to my mother yelling hysterically in my room right before work. Her voice was filled with fury and her eyes were filled with pain. Her look showed me nothing but disappointed which very much differed to the looks that I had always seen in those eyes when I was younger. There was no longer the shimmering sparkle that set in her gleaming eyes as she'd hold me tight while whispering in my tiny ears, "I love you and you are such a good girl." It was simple and to the point, my mother loved me. But now all I saw and heard were words full of disdain and malice with hopes that each daggered phrase would stab me right in the heart. "You are such a disappointment Yasmin. Why have you not learned from your mistakes? Can't you see how much pain you are causing us? Your father and I will never look at you the same way." As I sat there having each and every word sinking into my heart, I began to think back to when I was the "perfect" child. The picture of my 8th birthday cake as I blew it out. My father on my left looking at me with nothing but great expectations and my mother smiling at me, knowing that I was her perfect little princess. The huge smile I had on my face as my head hung over my beautiful cake reminded me of how great life used to be. When I used to be perfect.

Love and being controlling can be very tricky things to implore. The way my parents had loved me was in no way the best form of love. Their need to control mine and my sibling's lives had made us all more and more distant towards them in the end. My oldest sister is now out of the picture since her and my mother never talk anymore due to my mother's overbearing ways of control. My brother comes to visit every now and again but is never as close as he used to be since my mother never got along with his wife. Jess is the only one who comes around more often but does not have such a great relationship with my father due to his own ways of controlling her and her decisions. I had taken the liberty to live on campus in hopes that perhaps a little distance would help my relationship with my parents improve. All was well until they found out I was with the one person they strictly forbid me to be with. The distance will now only grow and my great expectations to have the family to fall back on will be nothing but a mere wish. I guess I'm not so perfect after all.

Essay #4 Brain-Light-Showers.

Okay so I am really not sure on what to write for essay #4 only because I haven't quite thought it out. My one idea is to talk about my trips to the west coast ever since I was 11 years old. However, I wouldn't know what to specifically talk about. Maybe I can write about my job and the joys of being in retail. I sell Jewelry at a company called Swarovski. It is never really a dull moment in that store because there is always something weird or just plain dumb that customers will pull. Other than that, I'm having trouble thinking of any more ideas :(

Essay #3- Draft 1 COMPLETE

Welcome to Yasmin's Dating hot line..How may I..help YOU?

Well I've never really looked at myself for one to help others in their "scandalous" lives but when my friend picked me to help him woe over a girl he'd only talked to… once, I couldn't pass off the offer since I thought it would be pretty amusing. Meet my friend Dan. 5'2, green eyes, majoring in Mathematics with a minor in Environmental Science and Engineering. What a catch right? Well with a few basic tools as well as the normal ability to speak to a girl, Dan would have done pretty alright for himself. But now I was stuck leading him into his next possible relationship with a girl named Sarah. Oh, how his eyes sparkle every time that name was even whispered as a joke. I'd never seen such a redder face in my life compared to Danny's face every time Sarah made her way into our house parties. It's the bottom of the ninth and Dan has yet to ask Sarah if she'd like a drink. He's now making his way towards her. Let's see how this will turn out Johnny...

“Dan I swear on Orion’s belt that if you don’t go over there and talk to her I will tell her you’re into men!” Dan stood there, shocked to his very core. Scared that I would ruin things for him in a mere second. But really, what would I be screwing up here? The kid hadn’t even said a word to Sarah since our last Halloween get to together. I’d be surprised if she even knew his name at this point. But there Dan stood, looking at her from across the room, wishing that he were there right next to her having a conversation about Harry Potter (oddly enough something they’d have in common…weird). And as soon as I made my way to speak to her, he quickly jumped in front of me with every ounce of confidence he could muster and made contact with Sarah. Houston, we have contact! There they were, she smiled and he offered out his hand introducing himself as Danny. She looked smitten but I could never really put my finger on whether it was because she was two Cosmopolitans in or because she thought he was cute.

About thirty minutes went by and I was half way through the potato chip bowl by now when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “We talked and her name is Sarah and she goes to my school and she wants to be a teacher and…” As I sat there trying to absorb all of this information, I began thinking if he even thought about emerging some details on himself. “Uhmmm…I told him my name and that I knew Mike at this party…” As I sat there shaking my head I continued thinking that this guy needed more than help, he needed Dating for Dummies. Now I’ve had my encounters of dating situations since the age of 13 so I’d like to think I had at least some words of wisdom. There were always strange guys, guys with high egos, guys with low egos, pretty guys, ugly guys and even guys who were plain amazing to guys who were just plain horrific. I’ve met them all and knew how to handle every one. But now, as for girls I’ve come to find that the reason why I knew so much about them (besides me being one) was the complaints I’d hear from my dear older brother. The hundreds of girlfriend who surrounded me day by day would also attest to my ‘female’ knowledge. But enough about my credentials, now we’re back from commercials and Dan has yet to ask for a simple number that could change everything.

It was 9:10 in the morning and my phone suddenly screams for me. Looking at this Godforsaken device that had interrupted such heavenly sleep, I took my anger towards the name flashing on the screen…Dan. This name was becoming the annoyance to my life, the evil fly buzz to my ears. He was in need yet again. So as I answered the phone to only be greeted by a high pitched voice telling me that he not only requested her on Facebook (the network defying demon of our time) but that she had accepted in exactly 30 minutes from the request. My interest was slowly decreasing as he started asking several hundred questions as to what the next step was and how he would go about them. Unfortunately, it being 9:30 in the morning with much more needed sleep I proceeded to mumble a simple “we’ll talk later” phrase and hung up. The rest of the few hours of sleep I had, had me thinking of ways for this kid to finally get the girl and would therefore end happily ever after because after all, a prince deserves his happy ending as well. 

By this time I felt that Danny boy was more than ready to commit to the moment. After class I had arranged to meet up with him for lunch. Our conversation went as follows: "I like her but she probably doesn't like me that way. I want to talk to her but I can't get the courage to. This sucks, girls suck and I don't know anymore..." As soon as he finished yapping about every pessimistic thing that could have possibly come out of his mouth, I started to speak objectively. I began to tell him what his moves should be and that if he played his cards right, he could have a date with her by the end of the week. It is quite remarkable what this day and age's society will go through to get a little bit of attention or recognition from the opposite sex. People become attracted to one another, they make plans or schemes to join forces and BAM! Welcome to a relationship! Starring you and your "significant" other. But what holds true to the beginning of this fascinating process? When starting up a relationship does it really take two to start Tangoing? 

 As you see in many movies or shows such as Friends or Sleepless in Seattle, show ways in which relationships start and/or end. Take Rachel and Ross from the comic series Friends, it took him nearly 9 years to finally confess to Rachel that he in fact had a crush on her. Of course with the help of his sister and the rest of the Friends gang, he ultimately triumphed winning over the girl of his dreams. As for the movie Sleepless in Seattle as well where Tom Hanks is helped by everyone in finding Meg Ryan. It never just starts off with the two people getting the courage and immediately asking out the other. It takes time, courage and a possible third or fourth party to get the ball rolling. Maybe other cultures have it correct. Maybe as such in the Muslim and Indian cultures, arranged marriages are the way to go. However, the fact that you may not actually love the guy/girl? Yea, that could create a problem. But it is still an interesting parallel to what we do today. 

"Dan, this is your last chance. She's right there behind the punch table. Go over, converse and do what I told you to do." As Dan stood there as nervous as he could be at a party, he started to think. Maybe what was going through his mind was the fact that this was his last shot at true love. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. Maybe he shouldn't have refilled his glass five minutes ago making him look like an idiot walking over to get more. But as I looked at him with reassuring eyes, he made his way to the punch table. Finally the two connected in a cosmic world where they both looked like they were starting to enjoy each others company. This time Sarah was not inebriated and in fact did remember Dan. The two looked great and I felt accomplished. But as I started to move around the room, a random girl pulled up in front of me. "Hey I'm Liz. I'm Sarah's friend, geeze I'm glad she's finally talking to your friend Dan. She wouldn't stop bugging me for advice on how to get in contact with him again." As I joined in hysterical laughter with Liz I looked over to Dan as he looked over at me. I smiled, winked and his "Thank You" smile could not make me any happier. Thank you for using Yasmin's dating hot line. Now go and start off your crazy lives together. You crazy kids! 

Essay #3

Welcome to Yasmin's Dating hot line..How may I..help YOU?

Well I've never really looked at myself for one to help others in their "scandalous" lives but when my friend picked me to help him woe over a girl he'd only talked to… once, I couldn't pass off the offer since I thought it would be pretty amusing. Meet my friend Dan. 5'2, green eyes, majoring in Mathematics with a minor in Environmental Science and Engineering. What a catch right? Well with a few basic tools as well as the normal ability to speak to a girl, Dan would have done pretty alright for himself. But now I was stuck leading him into his next possible relationship with a girl named Sarah. Oh, how his eyes sparkle every time that name was even whispered as a joke. I'd never seen such a redder face in my life compared to Danny's face every time Sarah made her way into our house parties. It's the bottom of the ninth and Dan has yet to ask Sarah if she'd like a drink. He's now making his way towards her. Let's see how this will turn out Johnny...

“Dan I swear on Orion’s belt that if you don’t go over there and talk to her I will tell her you’re into men!” Dan stood there, shocked to his very core. Scared that I would ruin things for him in a mere second. But really, what would I be screwing up here? The kid hadn’t even said a word to Sarah since our last Halloween get to together. I’d be surprised if she even knew his name at this point. But there Dan stood, looking at her from across the room, wishing that he were there right next to her having a conversation about Harry Potter (oddly enough something they’d have in common…weird). And as soon as I made my way to speak to her, he quickly jumped in front of me with every ounce of confidence he could muster and made contact with Sarah. Houston, we have contact! There they were, she smiled and he offered out his hand introducing himself as Danny. She looked smitten but I could never really put my finger on whether it was because she was two Cosmopolitans in or because she thought he was cute.

About thirty minutes went by and I was half way through the potato chip bowl by now when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “We talked and her name is Sarah and she goes to my school and she wants to be a teacher and…” As I sat there trying to absorb all of this information, I began thinking if he even thought about emerging some details on himself. “Uhmmm…I told him my name and that I knew Mike at this party…” As I sat there shaking my head I continued thinking that this guy needed more than help, he needed Dating for Dummies. Now I’ve had my encounters of dating situations since the age of 13 so I’d like to think I had at least some words of wisdom. There were always strange guys, guys with high egos, guys with low egos, pretty guys, ugly guys and even guys who were plain amazing to guys who were just plain horrific. I’ve met them all and knew how to handle every one. But now, as for girls I’ve come to find that the reason why I knew so much about them (besides me being one) was the complaints I’d hear from my dear older brother. The hundreds of girlfriend who surrounded me day by day would also attest to my ‘female’ knowledge. But enough about my credentials, now we’re back from commercials and Dan has yet to ask for a simple number that could change everything.

It was 9:10 in the morning and my phone suddenly screams for me. Looking at this Godforsaken device that had interrupted such heavenly sleep, I took my anger towards the name flashing on the screen…Dan. This name was becoming the annoyance to my life, the evil fly buzz to my ears. He was in need yet again. So as I answered the phone to only be greeted by a high pitched voice telling me that he not only requested her on Facebook (the network defying demon of our time) but that she had accepted in exactly 30 minutes from the request. My interest was slowly decreasing as he started asking several hundred questions as to what the next step was and how he would go about them. Unfortunately, it being 9:30 in the morning with much more needed sleep I proceeded to mumble a simple “we’ll talk later” phrase and hung up. The rest of the few hours of sleep I had, had me thinking of ways for this kid to finally get the girl and would therefore end happily ever after because after all, a prince deserves his happy ending as well.

*****I paused here because I just want to know if I’m headed in the right direction :)

Welcome to Yasmin's Dating hot line..How may I..help YOU? (Just an Idea)

Well I've never really looked at myself for one to help others in their "scandalous" lives but when my friend picked me to help him woe over a girl he'd only talked to once...I couldn't pass off the offer since I thought it would be pretty amusing. Meet my friend Dan. 5'2, green eyes, majoring in Mathematics with a minor in Environmental Science and Engineering. What a catch right? Well with a few basic tools as well as the normal ability to speak to a girl, Dan would have done pretty alright for himself. But now I was stuck leading him into his next possible relationship with a girl named Sarah. Oh, how his eyes sparkle every time that name was even whispered as a joke. I'd never seen such a redder faces in my life but none compared to Danny's face every time Sarah made her way into our house parties. It's the bottom of the ninth and Dan has yet to ask Sarah if she'd like a drink. He's now making his way towards her. Let's see how this will turn out Johnny...

**This is how I THINK I'd start off my 3rd essay if I chose my first option. (If I even did it correctly :-/ ) My idea was to write about my friends Dan and Sarah and their chemistry as well as my knowledge in human interactions. I was right from the start when I told him everything he should have done to talk to this girl, you might even call me the female Hitch ;)

Comments please :):)

Brain-Storming for Essay #3

I have a whole bunch of ideas on what to do for my third essay but I haven't quite narrowed it down to just one. In last week's class we had made a list about the things that we think we're "experts" at; things we're really go at doing. My list consisted of the following:
                                                   Sociology 
                                                   Movies
                                                   Music
                                                   TV Show- F.R.I.E.N.D.S

*Now you might be somewhat baffled by my first choice but let me explain. I'm an expert in human behavior (or so I believe) but I love studying human interactions and reactions. In my last class called Writing Creatively about Non-fiction, we were told to look at a person or couple and come up with stories that we thought were about them. Where they lived, if they were married, with kids, single, smart, etc. Even at social outings with my friends I can instantly study people and understand what type of connection they have with fellow friends or strangers. It's something that I gathered being a pretty social person that I am myself. I'm the kind of person who will talk to anyone in a one mile radius, telling them what I had done all day. I'm not shy and I also expertise in making new friends whenever I have an opportunity.

*I'm also very pop-culture based. I love love love movies and music. I can recite lines from pretty much any movie I have ever seen in my life. Music is my life, period. I love every genre and with every different kind of melody or rhythm, it changes my mood or enlightens me a little. I love listening to new bands, singers and genres. Lyrics? You say them, I can tell you where it was from. It's scary but that's really how much I listen to music. My collection of movies is also infinite since I ask for one every Christmas.

*I own the whole collection of Friends, the TV series because it's my absolute favorite show. Again, I can most definitely recite every line from any episode. But I don't know how I'd exactly make an essay out of this :-/

Any ideas on how to transform any of my own ideas into essay #3 would be GREATLY appreciated!! :):)