Well I've never really looked at myself for one to help others in their "scandalous" lives but when my friend picked me to help him woe over a girl he'd only talked to… once, I couldn't pass off the offer since I thought it would be pretty amusing. Meet my friend Dan. 5'2, green eyes, majoring in Mathematics with a minor in Environmental Science and Engineering. What a catch right? Well with a few basic tools as well as the normal ability to speak to a girl, Dan would have done pretty alright for himself. But now I was stuck leading him into his next possible relationship with a girl named Sarah. Oh, how his eyes sparkle every time that name was even whispered as a joke. I'd never seen such a redder face in my life compared to Danny's face every time Sarah made her way into our house parties. It's the bottom of the ninth and Dan has yet to ask Sarah if she'd like a drink. He's now making his way towards her. Let's see how this will turn out Johnny...
“Dan I swear on Orion’s belt that if you don’t go over there and talk to her I will tell her you’re into men!” Dan stood there, shocked to his very core. Scared that I would ruin things for him in a mere second. But really, what would I be screwing up here? The kid hadn’t even said a word to Sarah since our last Halloween get to together. I’d be surprised if she even knew his name at this point. But there Dan stood, looking at her from across the room, wishing that he were there right next to her having a conversation about Harry Potter (oddly enough something they’d have in common…weird). And as soon as I made my way to speak to her, he quickly jumped in front of me with every ounce of confidence he could muster and made contact with Sarah. Houston, we have contact! There they were, she smiled and he offered out his hand introducing himself as Danny. She looked smitten but I could never really put my finger on whether it was because she was two Cosmopolitans in or because she thought he was cute.
About thirty minutes went by and I was half way through the potato chip bowl by now when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “We talked and her name is Sarah and she goes to my school and she wants to be a teacher and…” As I sat there trying to absorb all of this information, I began thinking if he even thought about emerging some details on himself. “Uhmmm…I told him my name and that I knew Mike at this party…” As I sat there shaking my head I continued thinking that this guy needed more than help, he needed Dating for Dummies. Now I’ve had my encounters of dating situations since the age of 13 so I’d like to think I had at least some words of wisdom. There were always strange guys, guys with high egos, guys with low egos, pretty guys, ugly guys and even guys who were plain amazing to guys who were just plain horrific. I’ve met them all and knew how to handle every one. But now, as for girls I’ve come to find that the reason why I knew so much about them (besides me being one) was the complaints I’d hear from my dear older brother. The hundreds of girlfriend who surrounded me day by day would also attest to my ‘female’ knowledge. But enough about my credentials, now we’re back from commercials and Dan has yet to ask for a simple number that could change everything.
It was 9:10 in the morning and my phone suddenly screams for me. Looking at this Godforsaken device that had interrupted such heavenly sleep, I took my anger towards the name flashing on the screen…Dan. This name was becoming the annoyance to my life, the evil fly buzz to my ears. He was in need yet again. So as I answered the phone to only be greeted by a high pitched voice telling me that he not only requested her on Facebook (the network defying demon of our time) but that she had accepted in exactly 30 minutes from the request. My interest was slowly decreasing as he started asking several hundred questions as to what the next step was and how he would go about them. Unfortunately, it being 9:30 in the morning with much more needed sleep I proceeded to mumble a simple “we’ll talk later” phrase and hung up. The rest of the few hours of sleep I had, had me thinking of ways for this kid to finally get the girl and would therefore end happily ever after because after all, a prince deserves his happy ending as well.
By this time I felt that Danny boy was more than ready to commit to the moment. After class I had arranged to meet up with him for lunch. Our conversation went as follows: "I like her but she probably doesn't like me that way. I want to talk to her but I can't get the courage to. This sucks, girls suck and I don't know anymore..." As soon as he finished yapping about every pessimistic thing that could have possibly come out of his mouth, I started to speak objectively. I began to tell him what his moves should be and that if he played his cards right, he could have a date with her by the end of the week. It is quite remarkable what this day and age's society will go through to get a little bit of attention or recognition from the opposite sex. People become attracted to one another, they make plans or schemes to join forces and BAM! Welcome to a relationship! Starring you and your "significant" other. But what holds true to the beginning of this fascinating process? When starting up a relationship does it really take two to start Tangoing?
As you see in many movies or shows such as Friends or Sleepless in Seattle, show ways in which relationships start and/or end. Take Rachel and Ross from the comic series Friends, it took him nearly 9 years to finally confess to Rachel that he in fact had a crush on her. Of course with the help of his sister and the rest of the Friends gang, he ultimately triumphed winning over the girl of his dreams. As for the movie Sleepless in Seattle as well where Tom Hanks is helped by everyone in finding Meg Ryan. It never just starts off with the two people getting the courage and immediately asking out the other. It takes time, courage and a possible third or fourth party to get the ball rolling. Maybe other cultures have it correct. Maybe as such in the Muslim and Indian cultures, arranged marriages are the way to go. However, the fact that you may not actually love the guy/girl? Yea, that could create a problem. But it is still an interesting parallel to what we do today.
"Dan, this is your last chance. She's right there behind the punch table. Go over, converse and do what I told you to do." As Dan stood there as nervous as he could be at a party, he started to think. Maybe what was going through his mind was the fact that this was his last shot at true love. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. Maybe he shouldn't have refilled his glass five minutes ago making him look like an idiot walking over to get more. But as I looked at him with reassuring eyes, he made his way to the punch table. Finally the two connected in a cosmic world where they both looked like they were starting to enjoy each others company. This time Sarah was not inebriated and in fact did remember Dan. The two looked great and I felt accomplished. But as I started to move around the room, a random girl pulled up in front of me. "Hey I'm Liz. I'm Sarah's friend, geeze I'm glad she's finally talking to your friend Dan. She wouldn't stop bugging me for advice on how to get in contact with him again." As I joined in hysterical laughter with Liz I looked over to Dan as he looked over at me. I smiled, winked and his "Thank You" smile could not make me any happier. Thank you for using Yasmin's dating hot line. Now go and start off your crazy lives together. You crazy kids!
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